This is the 2nd post in a series I've titled as Marriage Restoration. You can read the first post of this series here. I strongly recommend reading post one of this series before continuing to read this post.
You may have noticed an underlying theme of this being an opportunity for YOU in the first post, and there is a very good reason for that. During this time it will be very difficult for you NOT to focus on your spouse, what they are doing, what they are not doing, what they are saying, where they are, who they are talking to, and things along those lines. But the Lord has afforded this opportunity for YOU. You cannot control the choices or actions of your spouse any more than you can control the weather. Let the Lord deal with your spouse concerning their choices and actions. You are responsible for your choices and actions. You must give an account to the Lord for the way you live.
At some point, you must realize and have a very honest confession with the Lord about where you are in your life. When my wife and I had our first discussion in which she mentioned she had thought about leaving, my world was turned upside down. When we separated, it took me a week to get my head clear enough to do this but once I did, the course of my life was redirected from the path it was on to the path I was meant to be on. I began to see the Lord writing straight with crooked lines in my own life.
My confession to God was something like this,
"Father, my family is in trouble and I need Your help. I want my family back together. I love my wife. I love my children. I don't know what to do. Forgive me for my failures as a husband and as a father. Forgive me for not being the spiritual head of our home. I repent. This is where I'm at right now, but if you will show me how to walk this through, in Your grace, I will not stay here. I will follow You where You lead me. I submit my life to Your authority. I submit my family to Your will. Show me how to be the husband You want me to be. Show me how to be the father You want me to be. Teach me to be the spiritual head of our household. Show me Your ways and help me to walk in them in Jesus' name and by His power. Amen."
It was in that moment the Lord began to work in my life. The next day the Lord used two scripture passages to speak two promises to me. The first promise was based on Jeremiah 29:11-14, " 'I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out-plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed.' GOD's Decree." - The Message
For me, this was huge! It was the Lord telling me He had a plan, He hadn't abandoned me, He knew my heart and wanted to give me the future I was hoping for. He was listening. He was findable. He was there.
The second promise was Isaiah 55:8-11,
" ' I don't think the way you think. The way you work isn't the way I work.' GOD's Decree. 'For as the sky soars high above the earth, so the way I work surpasses the way you work, and the way I think is beyond the way you think. Just as rain and snow descend from the skies and don't go back until they've watered the earth, doing their work of making things grow and blossom, producing seed for farmers and food for the hungry, so will the words that come out of my mouth not come back empty-handed. They'll do the work I sent them to do, they'll complete the assignment I gave them.' " - The Message
Through this passage the Lord showed me I had tried doing things my way, the way I work, the way I think. I had tried to live my own life, but my ways failed. If I wanted to truly live by His life, I had to let Him do it, He needed to transform my way of thinking to His way of thinking and my way of working to His way of working. The choice was mine to make. He also told me He had already spoken over my situation. He had already sent out His word for my life and for our family and I needed to put my whole life and my whole trust in Him and His work in my life. These two promises from the Lord became the foundation upon which I made my stand for my life and for the life of my family.
I encourage you, where you are today, in this moment, seek the Lord. Acknowledge for yourself where you are, make your confession and repentance to God, ask Him to help you and guide you. Ask him to speak to you. Ask Him what He wants, and be willing to listen for His response. He alone is the answer you seek. He alone is wisdom and the guidance you need for your life. Others, including myself, can offer helps, insights and lessons learned from our own experiences, but God alone knows your situation and needs. He alone can breath life where you only see death.
"Seek God while he's here to be found, pray to him while he's close at hand. Let the wicked abandon their way of life and the evil their way of thinking. Let them come back to God, who is merciful, come back to our God, who is lavish with forgiveness." - The Message